Saturday, September 05, 2026

Come and Die?

I grew up singing a bluegrass hymn "come and dine". The song speaks of the incredible pleasure of feasting at Jesus' table all the time, an absolutely beautiful picture of the love of God. To this day I love this song. However, over the last decade I've come to the realization that before we can truly find joy in the table spread before us we have to come to the grave. Specifically our own grave. The grave where we place our idols, our selfish desires, our wants. The grave where even our best intentions are laid to rest. Here's the thing, even when we know intellectually the right answers, if we come to the table before us with anything other than complete reliance on God, we will without fail try to make the dinner about us. We will think the dinner is about us and the empire we've created rather than the Kingdom of the one who invited us. The last decade has been about death for me, literal death of mom and dad, my dreams and desires, death to selfishness, death to empire building, death to my inflated ego and sense of self, death to the pulpit and platform, I could go on and on. What I've discovered through this season of death is simple, the food at the table is so much sweeter, more savory, and most importantly, more filling now that the old me has died. Come and dine? Absolutely! Come and die? Definetly. Come to the table empty and leave full.

Friday, September 04, 2026

Hi

It has been 13 years since my last post. Wow! A lot has changed in my world, not sure how to encapsulate 13 years into one post, maybe I shouldn't do that. Quick update, there are 5 of us now, Levi was born a year after my last post, Gabriel is off to college playing soccer, Mia is a senior and passionately following her music career. Katie is doing well, and I am figuring out what I want to be when I grow up. We are back in California! God allowed for us to make the move this year, and by his grace we made it! I want to write an anthem of what life has looked like for the last 13 years, but for now I'll just say hi, I'm back, and maybe I'll start writing a little more. who knows!

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Ramblings on Grace and God

So I struggle with the reality of grace even though I've experienced it and know it to be true. I don't deserve it and I rarely give it, but every time I fail, grace is there. As I grow older I see grace clearer, I still don't understand it, but I see it.

I wrestle with the reality of a God that doesn't beat the sh*t out of me when I fall, but he doesn't. He simply says, I love you, here's my hand, get up when you're ready. He doesn't force me to get up, I'm welcome to wallow in my failure as long as I want, he's there, with one hand on my shoulder, and the other ready to wipe my tears away and pick me up. But I'm selfish and I try to get up on my on, and his grace lets me try, he remains steady, waiting on my cry. We go back and forth, round after round, and he never changes. I don't get it, he should hate me by now, but his hand is there, waiting on my cry.

Grace really pisses me off sometimes, I don't deserve his love and yet he freaking loves me. I want faith to be black and white, right and wrong, he just wants to give me faith.

I'm selfish too, I take his grace, but I don't always give grace. Especially to people who don't look, smell, act, believe, and THINK like I do. But when I look at their life, his grace is there too. I don't get it, but I'm so thankful for it.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Observations of a city

You love this city and yet it sleeps
You love these people and yet they turn their eyes
Your heart longs for them to be united with you and yet their hearts are hard
Your song over them is to protect and save
Their song to you is where are you, who are you
You reach out and your hands seem broken for we are your hands and we don’t reach
You go to them and yet your feet don’t move because we are your feet
You love them and yet we don’t love

AWAKEN YOUR BODY!!!
RESTORE YOUR PEOPLE!!!!
AWAKEN THIS CITY!
BREAK OUR HEARTS!

Tear away the things that keep us from you.
Tear down these things we call your church and build the church promised in your Word

Your love is ever reaching
Your heart is ever loving
Your hands are ever healing
Your feet are ever going
Your mind is ever teaching
Your Blood covers all our sin
Your Life teaches abundance
Your Death teaches us obedience
Your resurrection teaches us your divinity
Your return teaches us promise
You are forgiveness

AWAKEN YOUR BODY
RESTORE YOUR PEOPLE!!!!
AWAKEN THIS CITY!
BREAK OUR HEARTS!

You alone are the answer for our city
You alone hold the key to our future

This is your city, we are your people
This is your kingdom, we are your servants
This is your city, we are forgiven
This is your kingdom, we are YOURS

You have called us friend and now we call you Master

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Today's Joy

The beauty of today is that every moment has purpose. Moment by moment Jesus abides in us, thus when we abide in Him every moment has purpose. The perfect Christian life is you now as a believer, you have all the Jesus you'll ever need right now. Rest in that! Today choose to love others in Jesus, it will change your entire outlook on the day ahead.

Check out www.abideinternational.org

Saturday, June 07, 2008

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.

-Douglas Adams

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Thought from Eugene H. Patterson

"I am busy because I am lazy. I indolently let others decide what I will do instead of resolutely deciding myself...If I vainly crowd my day with conspicuous activity or let others fill my day with imperious demands, I don't have time to do my proper work, the work to which I have been called. How can I lead people into the quiet place beside the still waters if I am in perpetual motion?"