Reality

Not a lot to say today other than I've been thinking a lot about this idea of reality. Reality is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. Sometimes it goes down sweet but most of the times the reality of any given situation can be hard to grasp. The reality of the unknown in our lives is a scary thought, we never truly know what tomorrow holds. The reality of life freaks me out, the idea that I'm not in control is especially hard to comprehend.

But above all there is a reality that causes great peace and joy, that's the reality of Christ and his promises.

All this got me to thinking about what reality I've been living in...most of the time I'm a hypocrite and live in a reality not meant for His children, or anyone for that matter. It's a struggle everyone faces...

Which reality are you in?

Is it late or really early???

Right now it's about 2:30am and I've just gotten in from work. Tonight I was reminded of how good God is, sometimes He provides opportunities to share His Son when you'd least expect it. And to be honest when you really don't feel like it. And then I'm reminded of how my weakness brings out His strength. I went to work today with no real ambition to do anything other than do my time and leave, but apparently someone else had bigger plans.

The store closes each night around 11 and we're usually out of there by 11:30. But for some reason tonight my boss asked me if I would stick around and help clean the oven and a few other things, I could tell that he really didn't want to clean the oven but it's a good way for a man to say, hey buddy I need to chat. I really had no desire to stay but I felt that little push from you know who so I stayed. I won't go in to detail, but with our heads in a huge pizza oven we discussed life, and why we're here, and some things he'd been thinking about recently. He asked me my take on life and why I thought we were here. I was exhausted but somehow, from somewhere the words came that I could not have spoken had I been completely refreshed and awake. I told him I was a friend of Jesus, not a religious zealot, but that I was just a normal person trying to follow Christ. I told him that I am a hypocrite at times, even in this conversation when I should be excited about talking with him about faith and life I'm tired and in the beginning I just wanted to go home. I told him that my faith is more than church on Sundays, it's about my everyday life, it's how i talk, how i react when customers cuss me out. And finally I told him that it's not about me, it's about him. I told him that my faith, my relationship with Jesus, was about being a friend to him when he needed a friend, not a judge.

So there with our heads in an oven and with oven cleaner starting to get a little strong he simply said, wow, thanks dude. And that was it, no great conversion story to tell you about, not even a prayer together. But I think he understands that he has a friend, and I believe that a seed may have been planted, maybe I'll be blessed and get to harvest it, maybe that will be someone elses blessing. But most importantly tonight I realized His strength in my weakness.

I am a man of unclean lips, and yet I am blessed to proclaim
Holy Holy Holy is the Lord Almighty.......

Reflection

Wow it has been over a month since my last post. It's not that I've been too busy to write, just that I've been, well, lazy. I haven't been in the right mindset to write the deep stuff that drives me. I've been focusing on what I haven't been able to do, rather than where God has me right now.

You see, March 3rd was my last day with World Help. I knew the time was coming for me to leave, I just thought that it would be the summer when I had planned to move to San Francisco. But before my trip to NY I found out that World Help had to make budget cuts and since I was leaving anyway, it made it a lot easier to include me. My world was rocked, my comfort zone destroyed. It's so much easier to say that you'd serve God in the gutter or wherever He places you until He asks you to lay down your pride and position and become a driver at Papa John's. I must admit that the last month has not only been humbling but humiliating at times. I find myself working for a kid that's still in high school after I have worked for 2 years for one of the giants of modern day missions. I find that I am slapping pizza dough instead of standing in front of thousands of people proclaiming the gospel. But then days come when you are sitting there with that high school boss of yours and you see how troubled and broken his spirit seems and you understand exactly why God has brought you to this little pizza shop on the corner of Church and Fairy.

I couldn't understand why God would bring me back to Martinsville, if even for a short season. I couldn't understand why I would be humbled and humiliated. And then God showed me. I had, for only a brief moment, the opportunity to peer into someone elses heart and feel their pain, to understand their hurt. And then it all clicked, this is what we're called to do. Not stand in front of thousands everyday, but to sit and listen and be a friend. God created us to long for relationships, to develop friendships, to bring others to Him by our example. Again my humility reached an all time high.

Over the past month, God has allowed my world to be turned inside out. He has given a clear path for an interesting future.

On March 3rd I ended my season with World Help, a place I will always love and never forget. On March 4th I asked Katie Rickabaugh to be my wife, suprisingly she said YES!!! One month from today, Katie and I will be married and will begin this crazy life together. This is my public invitation to you all.

And that's not all, after a brief honeymoon, she and I will begin our trek across country to our new home in San Francisco, where we will join our dear friends Kenny and Kelly McCord for a time of growth and allowing the kingdom of God to expand in us and hopefully we can bring some new things to the table. Call us adventurers but we don't even know where we're going to live yet, other than spending the first few weeks with Kenny and Kelly.

So as we start this new life I am reminded to always look with anticipation at what God holds for us next. I am also reminded to cherish what He has for you now, it may be a preparation for what's to come.